There are so many times in this life that we push away those thoughts that make us tremble...
If I am being honest with myself, the loneliness I feel would be too much to bear. I fill myself with virtual distractions and media. But rather than me consuming media, it is the medium that consumes me. If I'm being honest with myself, I have always lived and loved on impulse and fear. I am numbing the noise of my own internal violence. I am silencing the silence. I fall asleep to television so the room becomes less quiet as my heart beats like a riot.
If I were honest with myself I would say:
How long will you endure these sorrows and live your life without vibrance? Without love?
How do you live like this my love?
If I were honest with myself I would ask- why you keep running away? Who do you hope would follow you? Why do they always turn away? Alone are you in April as the rain fades into light. Always running away from your own internal night.
If I were honest with myself then I would hold onto god more for guidance. If I were more honest with my god then I would feel less of this silence