Some people think you can only have one home.
But I think you can have many
Places are fragments that become embodied in you. The physicality materiality and spirituality of places always remains in your blood.
Its not just what you eat, but who you love and where you breathe that resides within you.
You have to guard the energy you give and that you take. There's always an imprint on your spirit like a flame.
Born next to the roaring planes and freight trains five minutes from o'hare in a family that had migrated settled but then stayed. I I must have got some diesel in my lungs along with my asthma. Cause I can't fall asleep without white noise and chatter. Cities buzzing.
Of course then in a city of rain born next to trains buried in snow how could i not be tempted by flight? When I breathed in the gasoline and the coal how could I not want to know .... and knowing...want to go.
I am thankful that my sister stayed if only so that my mothers heart didn't break.
My sister could admire the stars without striving for them. Content in their presence.
I wanted to serenade them. To swallow them and consummate them in my being. I was only satisfied sailing through waves and clouds.
Perhaps, the turbulence of oceans and planes are another remnant that never fades. And the hustle and constant movement. Some people say I have ADHD
But Id say its just the city musicking and moving in me.
I cant stay in one place too long BUT my soul now years for the arrivals sections of return flights equal to the departure or adventures newly begun.
Sometimes the incessant moving pains me and her
My mother says I should build a nest. I tell her to do so would tear my wings.
I told her I have to fly
A swallow without wings will wane
The things that stay
The cold the blue the grey and minor keys are always colors in my poetry and though I see their beauty I know also too it's rain..
She says Illinois's been warmer since I left
Perhaps I took the cold with me when I fled and took her love like theft
It's funny when your packing the things you keep or give away...
I always keep music books and gifts
But I'll always give my clothes away
I like to start over almost naked
Clothes are symbols after all
But sometimes I give so much away
And change my hair and dress so many times
That I forgot who I was at other times.
And then it's funny too---
Never knowing the love that grew until you leave
To chase your dreams
But realizing also that in leaving friends you also lose pieces of yourself in them.
We all embody places in our souls. More than we'll ever know...