How much will you take from me?

God, you have graciously given me so much

But these past two years- I’ve averaged a broken a bone per year. 

I broke my ankle, it healed and then I broke my arm. It healed and then a stranger raped me. 

I have lost my voice so many times: 

When I found my voice again a man forced down my head? 

I’ve got titles and accolades. I’ve traversed oceans and lost all my money. 

I lost my job after I was raped. I found another but the payments coming in late. Next month should I sleep in my car? 

How much will you take from me. 

When will this brokenness fade away? 

I see the beauty throughout the pain.

I’ve lost my voice with so much rain. 

How much do you plan to take from me? 

Till like, Job, I am degraded. Destitute and dependent 

How much will you take from me? 

Loved ones, my body, my mind, my peace? 

What penance must I pay? 

Until you won’t charge me interest on my healing nor a surcharge on my joy? 

Do I owe you back my gladness? 

What debts must I repay- That you don’t let me smile? 

God why do you charge my smiles a fee? 

Must I always repay my joy my sorrow? 

What karmic energy must I continue to repay that all my life I dream to fade away

that my dreams are all now nightmares? 

How much more do you plan to take? 

Do you want me, god, to fade away? 


Let me die God let me pass five birth to no more children of sorrow let this line end with me. To Fade in my sleep. I’m tired of failing my expectations of me