The Pastel Painter

I happened upon a painter who painted only in pastels. I inquired of his rationale. Why do you avoid the colors, grey and black and brown? The stars are strident without the darks silence. Chaos stands beside creation. Its not the absence of these colors that beauty is found. And you cannot paint history without grey black and brown. Where is your burning passion-red? Where is the dark navy serenity of the sea. You cannot paint history without dark red and sorrowed blue. In the dark black vibrance of the night is when I hold my beloved dear and I prefer not the blinding pastel lights that refute the stories that make them shine so clear. So when you paint your portrait sir- with history imposed upon a palette don't forget black grey brown red and blue. Without these colors your sun would be a hue that we don't care to view. 

Children’s Poems: The Tale of the Fern and the Lady Bug

There once was a fern in a forest far away. Then one day from the East a ladybug left her garden green. The lady bug and fern soon fast friends said to one another: what a friend you are to me! Illuminating all of each. Ours is a love envied by the vines and trees! With each fickle breeze or storm that should pass, fear not are kindred hearts. I lay my wings upon you and you rest your leaves on me. Even laid low still victorious we strove because of the divine love we share.

Now I lay me down to sleep

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep. 

Now I lay me down to sleep.
And if per chance I shan't wake.
To continue with my daily pace.

Then find my friends for they are found-fragments of my soul.

And each lost vagrant you should see.
Let your heart bend with utter sympathy and think of me in them.

If I should leave a tad too soon.
This indeed I already knew since my conception.
There was in truth no real deception.
I knew my time was short here.

So if by chance my soul should fly one night.
Then sink me in the ocean and blow me to the wind.
But Don't cry for me.

For my fierce soul is finely at peace and I know I will return soon.
Though form I do not know.

I only pray god lets me keep these melodies and poems

I hope I shan't drink from the river leith.
I want to remember this brief life.
With all its glory, rain, and strife.

I love you all. I hope you knew.
Even if I ever were to leave too soon.

Keep loving with my intensity. Don't falter with my passion.
For I have but one piece of me to leave to you:

My songs my poems my heart-
That's now silent in the seas.

Keep loving in my memory.
Ill be back one day to see.

But now I wish to sing with my god.
No longer could I wait to see his glorious mystery
For he knows our full histories.

Now I lay me down to sleep
An angel soon to take my place.

Does the violence of this world ever make you question your own morality and brevity of life? If tomorrow we went to war, what would you change? Would you love more?


When is it okay to reroute? Are these dead ends or only roads not yet paved? When do we depart from our original destination and commitments? 
Afraid of the future-

You hurdle towards the seas and cliffs. Bounding, leaping, crying weeping. Too prove you are awake.
To prove you lived through another day.
Scribbling frantic melodies
For fear of whom?
You scream at the silence
And whisper with the wind:
White waves, white stones, white waters and wind!
Where are you going?
Where are you swimming?
Who holds you?
You rip through the water
And rile the waves.
Where are you going?!

Siren! Even she does not know
The route that she goes. ...

The Gas Prices Are to High

Verse 1 
I've been runnin on empty
The gas prices are too high
I've been runnin on empty
Inflation is on the rise

Pre chorus
If I'm standing, I'm not lying
If I'm walking, I'm not crawling on the ground
But lately I've been fallin down

God will you help us get some sleep
God will you help us we can't breathe
God will you help us to make peace

Verse 2
I've been praying to the skies
I feel like I can't cry
I feel just like I can't smile
We feel so much that we hold still

God will you help find some peace
God will you help us heal
God will you help us so can breathe

Post Chorus
If I'm standing, I'm not lying
If I'm walking, I'm not crawling on the ground
But lately I've been fallin down

God will you help us hear our plea
God will you help us find some peace

Post chorus
I've been runnin on empty
I've been runnin on empty
I've been runnin on empty
Yeah its too much but not enough

God will you help us hear our plea
God will you help us find some peace

Fade out

Song Form

Tough Love

Capo 7 
G e C G e

Stop fucking quitting on yourself
Please start investing in yourself, my love.

I see more than you do
And I know that in my soul that you will be just fine
That you will be alright with time Stop looking to the past
These worries soon shall pass

Second Chorus
I see more than you do.
I know you will make it through, so
You cant quit on week two
I won't always speak this harsh
But you cant quit upon the start!

Stop fucking quitting on yourself
Please start investing in yourself, my love. 2*

Psalm 42 Conversations

Why my soul are you downcast? Why so quiet in me?

I’m tired of loving and losing. I feel God doesn’t listen to me.

Why my soul are you silent?

I’ve been shouting so long. All I have now are whispered words.

Why my soul are you quiet?

I couldn’t take the clamour or the friction that is my own.

Why my soul are you silent?

I think god stopped listening.

Why my soul are you quiet?

Sometimes I don’t even think I can breathe.

My soul won’t you let god guide you?

If he guides with a gentle hand. I know about him and Jonah. And sometimes it brings fear to my head.

My soul won’t you let god guide you?

What died within you?

Part of my light

I killed myself for protection in the darkness of night

Who died within you?

Part of my soul

I let her go and now I don’t know the hair on my head its silver and cold

I’ve lost myself lord. I died sometime ago

Where did your voice go?

In the depths of the known

What of the known?

I knew too much pain, I drank not from the river of Leith

So to keep moving I left behind part of my soul and my life

But you went to heaven today

Capo 4 
G e C e

But went to heaven today
I miss you more every day
Your memory never will fade
I would trade years of my life just to hold you again

Verse 1
I wish I coule hold you again
I wish I could just hold your hands

Verse 2
I still see you each time that I sleep.
I'm with you in each of my dreams
I still feel you when I wake
Your presence is always

But went to heaven today
I miss you more every day
Your memory never will fade
I would trade years of my life just to hold you again

Verse 3
I'm missing you more each day
Thank you for the joy you brought to my life
Thank you for being here

But went to heaven today
I miss you more every day
Your memory never will fade
I would trade years of my life just to hold you again

Waves won’t you wash over me

Capo 5 
G a C e G

Waves won't you wash over me? G am C
And heal (em) my broken soul G?
Waves won't you wash over me
N' Make these pieces whole?

As the white waves hit the ground I was lost now and found.
In the space of the great profound.
I was drawn to your depths
By the grief I had wept
All my joy it had left

But these waves hit the shore
I was lost and ensure
Still these currents bring me home

Waves won't you wash over me? G am C
And heal (em) my broken soul G?
Waves won't you wash over me
N' Make these pieces whole?

Call Collect

Capo 6 

D A e G D

God do you collect the poems we've forgot? The songs we've forgot to sing? God do you hold tightly to those we lost too early whose memory still hurts to speak of?

God do you collect the prayers we have prayed. The sorrows we've shared and laid upon your breast?

God do you collect the calls that we've gave.Do you keep them saved?

You’ll always have my heart

Capo 4 

You'll always have my heart. G
Even when I'm far D or em 2×

I pray that God guides you G
Guards you D And minds you. N leads you in all am your ways G

I pray that he'll find you G
Help you and mind you D
Be there for you am Every day G

You'll always have my heart. G
Even when I'm far D
You'll always have my heart. G
Even when I'm far D
You'll always have my heart G

You'll always have my soul
Even when were old

You'll always have my heart
Even when we depart
We're never far apart
Your part of my parts

To give in such a way that has no end

“We are how we treat each other when the day is done. We are how we treat each other and nothing more.” These lyrics resonate with me today.

Why do we always say you are worthy of love? Love is freely given independent of the merits of its receiver. It’s reception and it’s giving are a blessing. Why do we say we are broken? We are never fully whole. We are always fragments too. We are parts and we are peices. Simultaneously, old and also new. We never were fully broken. Not were we ever a composite whole.

Why do we say others deserve not charity? We judge their merits and their worth. Yet, we too have received gifts and suffering both deserved and undeserved.

If I am to be someone. Then define me by my love. I accept that there is losing. The more I lose the more I’ll love. Love is given freely and freely is returned. Maybe not within this cycle. But someday it always returns. Like the sea to shore.

Solo la música es fiel

Sólo la música es fiel.  
Todos me dejarán.
Todos me abandonarán.
Todavía la musica es fiel.

Only the music is faithful
Everyone may leave me
And all I may abandon
But music still is faithful.

Solo queda la música
Cuando todos me dejaron
La música quedará

Only the music remains.
When everyone leaves.
She stays.

Llora que te quedes pero me dejarás
Lloro hasta dormirme.
No respiro
No como
No puedo vivir así.

El tiempo me dejará
El amor me soltará
Solo la música es fiel

Time may fade
And love may leave me lonesome
But Music she is loyal.

If everyone should leave me
If all my love forsakes me
Still I have one thing
This music shan't ever leave me
This music won't forsake me
This music stays with me

Only the music is faithful
Soon shall everyone go
But music, she is faithful.


There Are No Missing Pieces

You claim I’m giving pieces of myself. Like candy cut up for the crowds. You claim I’m just like everybody else. That I don’t know the value of myself. Nobody can take what I don’t give. I still at the core am who I am. These scars upon my soul will soon fast heal. I am not shattered I’m just bruised. Those pieces that I gave were not abused. My heart is never broken it’s just bruised. No matter what you say you’ll never know. Because I love to share some secrets of my soul. I chose carefully those my lips should greet. I know them by their eyes and energy. Those mistaken lovers that I’ve held they helped me to learn some more about myself. You may claim I’m giving pieces of myself. But my body’s not my soul nor is my wealth. I give what I chose and nothing else. What I give is not lost. I love to commune with other souls. It’s not for the pleasure nor the pain. But sometimes they bring me stories through their rain. If I lose then I also gain. I’ve held more souls than you may know But we are not only or one soul. I am not lost nor incomplete. There is no brokenness in me. I stitch up my scars most every day. These are only small prices that I pay. I love to live and life often is also loss. In living yes there is always a loss. But I’d rather live with this known cost. Then to break and shatter at the top. In the end I’ve only learned I’ve never lost. The pieces that have left weren’t meant to stay. They’re part of growing older every day. In the end, I still know who I am. Nothing is missing in myself except perhaps I’ve held more hands than someone else. But there is nothing missing from myself.

Capo. 7 verses are G e G e. Chorus is G D e G

Teach me how to sing again

Teach me how to sing again 
Teach me how to breathe again
Teach me how to believe again
Teach me how to be

I used to cry every time that I sang
Cause you weren't by my side
Why you had to go
That only heaven knows

Teach me how to bleed again
teach me how to breathe again
Teach me how to sing
teach me how to dance again
teach me how to Love again
teach me how to sing

Collision of Souls

Let it go 
Let it go
Just a collision of souls

Let it go
Let it go
Let it go my lonely soul

Don't hold fast to the past
These memories won't last.
Maybe you were wrong 
This life is full of accidents
While some of them will fade
Some of them may stay
Let go
Let go
Go collide with other souls

Let go
Let go
Let go my weary soul
Hold fast to love
Don't let the past be your sole guidance
Go collide with other souls

Travelers love

Travelers love more freely
We care more and less deeply
Guided by intuition and chance
We love with impulse in a glance
Feeling the energy of brevity and equally intensity
We must be escapist’s
But also perhaps we live fullest
Because as the plane leaves the ground and the ship leaves the port
Everything we thought was significant
Now becomes so small and so poor

I traded my house and my car for the places I’ve been
All of my possessions become unpossessed
The chaos of my suitcase
Is littered with glitter and with sand
Sometimes we live more richly and more poorly than those that we knew
Who bought boats stocks investment and homes
I am not sure what I even know or don’t.

Olas Blancas

The white waves draw my feet too far from the sand
The spumes come crashing down and her tides now the shores have found.
After rolling in the deep
The sea foam comes hard down
Feeling its weight upon the ground
What was gone has now been found
The currents push me further
And sometimes bring me back
I like to touch my feet
But when I’m swimming I am free within the deep
And my spirit the seas good god I hope to meet
Out beyond the buoys
I don’t know what lies ahead
But I love the skies the sun the moon the waves
I’m healed no longer sad
The ocean always chases me
The winds blow me to and fro
I scare some people with this wild fearlessness
When the waves steal me I am at once at home
I will always swim far beyond the shores
If the waves take me then I am cured
If they save me I’ll return
I’m it’s silent roar
I hear music I hear chords
I can sing and I’m unheard
Give my voice back to the earth
I can whisper I can scream
I am will sing into the seas
I love to lose my voice in the quiet of the night
I always lose my spite
And the ocean heals the suffering of life

My mother asks me to turn down the sound
The winds and the waves
The ambient profound
As if I in my finite presence could hear her
I can’t even hear myself
My voice is somewhere in the deep
I long to swim too far into its greatness
And some may think this is suicidal idealization
But all religions center death as the beginning of rebirth
So I also see a sirens death
As being somehow reborn
My mind is sort of quiet here
I venture all alone
And if I’m not too careful then
I’d let the riptides wash me home
I’m also crashing white spumed noise upon the sands
Always leaving longing to go back to the sea and than the land
If I am quite careful then one day I hope I’ll leave with my feet parallel and underneath
To be drawn into the whirlwinds and far away from the reef
I’m always climbing on the crags
The rocks and urchins stab me
And I love them but I wonder how they only seem to putter because the farther that I walk away the father I hope to come upon the currents quite too strong
Nearer to the heart of whatever is hidden in her grief
And somehow in her sadness find the joy of the voice that once belonged to me


You speak in a higher register then you ought. Nervous in your own insecurities. As if your voice was faint and fine. You spin when you stand. As if you have ever stood uncertain.

Is it that you wish to leave and fly with the winds or to obscure the depths of your voice? With its low timbre that reaches into the deep Earth.

Do you not trust me? I who have cared for you for so many years. Do you not trust me? I who have protected and healed you. Do you speak higher to deceive those around you? For I know of the dark timbre that you possess. Do you spin to disconcert those around you? so that they do not know just how fiercely you stand? Why do you despise the darkness beneath my eyes? The weight which held within it poems?

Why do you hate my hands the hands that fed and loved you? Why do you look at me with so much disdain for I have learned to love you even when you do not love yourself and why do you look on my size with the poorest eyes as if despite my stature I were not wise? these hands have Fed so many. in love with you hate I have blessed feet thatyou say are too large have climbed mountains and despite your thin frame you have always ran. Why do you pretend you’re uncertain for I know all of your heart why do you pretend you are ungrounded for I know you’re mine and your hands every decision you have made I have guided every song you have sang with you I have song those lips which speak curses against herself speak only blessings of others do you care so little for me that you wish to be another do you care so little for me not to celebrate my worth.

You thought I was speechless and in my silence the more words I learned. You think I am incapable of decisions yet every decision I’ve made has been slowly strong love her do I guide you away from your values and I I’ve always keept you safe from harm, each moment of your life. I’m beside you every tear you have cried, I have wept. You think I am selfish and in your selflessness the one person you fail to Honor is your own soul that which was given to you.

Your Memory Resounds

Buildup introduction: 4 bars (em/ i) 
Your memory resounds
Your memory resounds
Your memory resounds

Inter verse:
Your light reverberates in this earthly space Your love resonates with all
Your kindness echoes through the passageways Your goodness is heard through our global Halls
We always feel you hear with us
Though I’ve searched for you in shadows
I found you in the stars
Distant but not far from me
I carry you always in my heart

Verse 1: 4 bars
I still see you face each time I sleep
I still feel your presence in my dreams.
You’re in every song I sing
You’re in the air I breathe

Chorus (G major/ V) 4 bars
We will not forget your love.
We will not forget your light
We will not forget your life

Verse 2: 4 bars
I still light a candle every time
You're in every single prayer I pray
In the darkness of the night
My compass when I’m lost
Your in every poem I write
You are my courage and my might

Chorus: (G major/ V) 4 bars
We will not forget your love.
We will not forget your light
We will not forget your life

Outro and TCF: 4 bars (em/ i)
Your memory resounds
Your memory resounds

Dedicated to DW.

The boundless rain

Since I left my heart beats out of pace. What kind of sign is it that without you and with this vast distance, the doctors claim my heart beats with the rain?
How funny! And how strange?
The farther I am from home-
The more increase my woes.
And my heart is truly breaking
I can show you, yes I can.
I miss you with all I am.
I want to be like the rain boundlessly conscious trespassing transgressing traversing between the seasons and skies.  If I were the winds how fast I'd Run To You. I wonder if it hurts the travels that she takes falling from the skies and rising from the Seas does she feel pain in her travels or does she feel like she can breathe in her perfumed and profound fullness how does she feel connected with each particle. I want to be rain so that I can be with in the ocean as the white waves crash to kiss the tender breasts of the shore. I want to feel everything inside her the seaweed fish and tempest. My heart is truly breaking because I am far from you.
So if I die from heartbreak then I hope to be the rain that falls softly on your hair that gently brushes your feet as she steps from the Sands
Away from the shore into the sea


Our very first breath is a cry. No lyrics and no rhymes. Our very first breath betrays us. The suffering of coming days. 

Our very first moment of sight is the end the darkness. The start of new light.

Our very first moment we're held.
And love guides us above the hard ground.

Our very first moment were told
The secrets of life
Not yet one hour old.

Our very first moment of light
We learn it is love that gives life.

Guiding light

When we are young we all have dreams of who we are and who we’ll be. More faith have I in our young selves then ever the person we should become.

But still unsure of where to be. For she have lived twelve lifetimes more. Her inner guide is thus betrayed by jaded and melancholic age. Despite these years grown. The wisdom she held within her eyes when she was but yet sewn.

She sings her songs with only a melody. No lyrics and no rhymes. And still years after leaving. Although she no longer cry herself too sleep. She has not found a home nor a family like before. And no words express the distance nor disintegration that this soul feels away from you. So who do we trust the soul who left for safety’s sake or the Inner child who guides us with her heart unknowing of gold nor our mistakes?

Open Individualism?

What if we are all collectively one? All sharing the same existences. Loving, lying, cheating, learning? What if I am you and you are me? In different incarnations of reality. My light is your own. Your shadows are mine. Our lessons are ours. We’re all deceived with false perceptions of time. How wonderful, how horrible, how wretched to think! That every person I’ve judged or hated or harmed was part of the same soul fabric and in sense I have cut my own arm. Every person I’ve loved or lost was the same. If we all have the same vein? How strange a thought that if it were true. Would change everything I am and you?